Joy, is a choice. No different then who to have coffee with or what to eat for lunch or if the line to the bathroom is worth waiting for. Joy is a beautiful choice. She is a wonderful and charming and lovely companion for the day. She makes hard things fun, challenges turn into opportunity, even good things are better. Joy is a difficult beautiful choice. Real things are said to be tangible, which by definition must be felt and tactile, which means these things must be comprised of more material, which makes them harder. The harder something is, the more real it is. When things are going perfectly right with everything we want, we ask, "am I dreaming?" When everything is going wrong we say, "Fuck my life", or maybe its "Fuck, my life" when what we really mean is "Fuck life". Why in struggle are we so confident of its tangibility and in ecstasy so unsure of it's existence. We question the existence of good things and are certain of the existence of bad things. Do you believe in heaven and hell? It's probably easier to imagine a place of consequence then a place of reward. This is why I say joy is a damed difficult beautiful choice.
What comes naturally is not in and of itself the fullness of reality or possibility. What comes easy to you is a hack your found in your life. You discovered a way, by intention or by design, to understand life in a particular way to encourage particular behaviors. We are built and designed beautifully, to lie to ourselves in order to see more then what is in front of us. For the evolutionist, taking leaves rustling for a lion instead of the wind encourages you to go home and have babies. For the creationist, taking the leaves rustling for God instead of the wind encourages you to go home and have babies. What I argue is that each of us every day operate on a set of expectations that run deeper then we even realize. How we see ourself, our family, our future, our worth, our purpose or lack there of. Why do some see danger and others see beauty? Because no one see's the wind. No one see's what is really there. We see what we want to see so that we can encourage the behavior we believe will keep us alive. If you are like me, then when you see hurt, pain, suffering, struggle, injustice or even hitting all the red lights then you know you are alive. Not alive in the spiritual happy sense, I mean alive in the sense that you are experiencing a true reality. When good things happen, people like you, when you win, or hit all the green lights; you are waiting for the next wrong thing. Yet in this cosmic balance, when the wrong thing happens, you expect the next…. wrong thing.
That is why I say Joy is the most important damned difficult beautiful choice. If you change your expectations, you literally change the world you experience. The man who runs home from the leaves rustling because he fears death brings fear to his home. He has sex to feel better, and teaches the family that the world is a horrible place and only in this small space can we be safe and happy. The smaller your world, the safer and happier you are. The smallest and happiest space of course being inside a climax for the shortest moment of time. Good things live inside of cages, with walls built of good intentions and promises and guilt and fear to protect from the horrible outside world. As if to believe that what is good in the world could barely fit in a thimble, and on this tiny island of isolation, you plant your heart.
That is why I say Joy is the simplest most important damned difficult beautiful choice. The man who walks home from the leaves rustling because he believes it is God, does not provoke the predator, nor draw undue attention to himself. On the way he remembers to pick up firewood, and notices a strawberry as he gathers. He has sex in front of a warm fire. After which he shares his strawberry, and he teaches his family that the world is a wondrous place full of small treasures to be thankful for. His fences and walls are low, able to see his neighbor. The bigger your world, the more room you have for the happy things in it. The biggest and happiest space of course being the earth that you share with all creation. Bad things are there, and they are what are put in cages, locked away for protection. Cages built of ethics, justice, courage, and even love. As if to believe that what is good comes from what is bigger then you, and in a community, in support, and in relationship, you plant your heart.
This is why I say, Joy is a choice.